Pleased that’s over…

OK, I thought my head would do me in and it did.  I lost it both at the LGH and St Lukes Hospitals.  I tackled LGH alone first and it was hard, lots of questions about my last birth and Luke.  I asked them if we could make sure we don’t get the same ward and hopefully we won’t need to face the special care nursery again as there are no other options except for the room Luke was in.  St Lukes was lovely, D came with me for that appt and the lady we dealth with was so nice.  It ruined me to start with when we followed her into the small room at the end of the corridor, it was a total flashback of a room that we were taken into at the Royal Childrens Hospital in Melbourne to be given terrible news.  The small cosy room with chairs, fake flowers and a tissue box, was so similar it was freaky.  Then the questions started and I lost it.  We had a walk around and it was ok, I wasn’t too freaked out.  D told me he got upset when we went into the nursery when he saw the humidity crib, I never saw Luke in one of those as he was already moved to the oxygen tent by the time I got to see him.  Well it’s done now, we are booked in and thank goodness that’s over.  I spent the rest of the night a mess.  Fingers crossed that we get to spend enjoyable times in these places in a few months time and it helps heal some of the nasty memories from the past.  So many people take for granted what a simple thing that people normally feel excited and keen to do can be so traumatic and sad for someone that has had a loss. 

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